Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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