is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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