when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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