Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
