don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
