With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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