I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
