i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
