Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
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