It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
