I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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