Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
