MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
