We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
