K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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