Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Randomize
