his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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