I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
