On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
