i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
