if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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