i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
