i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
