Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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