No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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