I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
