Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
