It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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