talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
