How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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