dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
