We won't sleep together?
I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
