where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
