i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
