he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Randomize
