Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Randomize
