There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
