i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
