You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
