Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
