if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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