Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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