i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
