I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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