the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
