Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
