im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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