Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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