yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
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