if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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