Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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