I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
