You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
