Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
