Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
