you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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