She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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