Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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