No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
