i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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